Build Trust And Heal Your Relationship

If you are having relationship issues trust is crucial to fixing them. To have a healthy, happy relationship, both parties must feel safe and able to believe that their partner is being honest and forthright with them.

In psychology, trust is believing that the person who is trusted will do what is expected. It starts at the family and grows to others.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust_(social_sciences)

If you are having problems with trust in your relationship, there are some steps you can both take to restore trust and build a firmer foundation for your partnership. It may take time and repeated attempts, but if you follow these tips and stay the course, over time you can heal your damaged partnership and have the trusting, loving relationship you both want a deserve.

The first step to taking care of relationship issues is to be honest. Being honest means doing what you say you will do and not doing the things you say you will not do. For example, do not talk to or text exes if you have promised you have or will cut all ties to them. Do not go to places your partner feels uneasy about you visiting. If you say you are going to do something, do it. By staying true to your word and taking responsibility for your actions, your partner will learn to see you as trustworthy and dependable helping build their trust in you.

Secondly, be accountable. Being accountable for yourself means that you take responsibility for your actions and their consequences. When you take accountability, you understand you are responsible for yourself and your actions and you do not look for excuses and ways to blame others or circumstances when things do not please your partner.

Be an open book. For a relationship to work, both parties must be transparent. Tell your partner where you are going, who you are seeing and what you are doing when you are away. Telling them what is going on in your life will help eliminate questions, doubt and worry and strengthen the trust in your relationship.

Next, take time to talk openly about the things you want and need from your relationship. If you need more time together, need your partner to help around the house more, need extra help with the pets or children or have other needs, it is important to speak openly with your partner. You cannot expect your partner to read your mind and leaving these issues undisclosed can lead to tension and resentment. When you speak with your partner and share your feelings, they can step in and do what they need to do to make you feel heard and respected. Feeling heard, respected and understood will go a long way in building a trusting, honest relationship that allows both people to be and feel their best.

If you are facing relationship issues, work together to understand where the problems began and to talk about ways to fix them. Working together, you can form a lasting relationship that will allow both of you to be yourselves and to trust one another. With trust as the basis of your relationship, you can have the partnership you have always wanted.

Spice Up Your Marriage With Date Nights

Getting away from out of the ordinary tasks, such as taking care of the kids, doing household chores and coming home from work at the end of the day helps to keep that elusive spark alive in the relationship. Its easy to get in a rut and lose the sparkle of those early days in a relationship. Keeping the attraction fresh is essential for relationships to thrive and taking part in regular date nights is one of the easy ways that you can do that.

Looking for inspiration for your next date night? Check out these options to keep the heat in your relationship.

Get Into the Kitchen

Getting into the kitchen and cooking your favorite dish together is likely something that you already enjoy, but this time, get out of your comfort zone. Take part in a local cooking class and learn to cook something new while impressing your partners taste buds. Its the perfect time to connect with each other and learn new skills while youre at it.

Tour the Town

Take the weekend to get away from it all, in your own backyard. Go through the local tourist hot spots and act like youre from out of town. Chances are that youre going to discover something that you didnt expect like a great coffee shop, or experience in your own backyard at one of the tourist attractions that youve always overlooked. Making a weekend of it and staying at a hotel can help you to have the time to reconnect with one another, away from the kids, and renew the spark that comes from mornings spent eating leisurely breakfasts in bed.

Spice it Up

Are you looking for something adventurous? If youre ready to really spice things in up in the relationship you might want to consider visiting one of the adult shows that tour popular cities every year. During these shows youre going to be able to take part in workshops, see the latest products that can help to spice up life in the bedroom and even get a glimpse into new ways that you can increase the heat at-home. Plus, its always an entertaining night out but its not for the faint of heart.

A Week of Date Nights In

A Week of Date Nights In Couples that go to bed at the same time are proven to have more time to connect than couples that dont. For one week, head to bed at the same time and spend time together during the quiet hours of the night, reading, watching movies, playing games and talking.

There are lots of excuses for skipping date night, but making the relationship a priority and finding the time to carve out to spend time reconnecting is going to create a healthy and full relationship. Finding a babysitter and heading out for the evening, or having family members watch the kids for the weekend can be a great way to reconnect, especially for couples that have been neglecting the time spent together.

Communication Problems In Relationships And How To Solve Them

Failure to communicate effectively is at the root of virtually all conflicts. The good news is that many relationships can be vastly improved by learning some basic communication skills.

Pick the Right Time to Talk

Important discussions are rarely fruitful when held in the heat of the moment. If one or both parties are angry, it can be beneficial to hold off on talking until calmer moods prevail. It is also best to schedule a mutually agreed upon time to debate big-ticket items, whether thats a talk about marital fidelity or a potential raise at work. Try to find a time with a minimum of interruptions, such as screaming kids, phone calls, or people at the door.

Prepare Ahead of Speaking

Before engaging in talk about a hot issue, take some time to write down a few notes or make a list of pros and cons. This is especially effective for people who become tongue-tied or have trouble finding the right words to express themselves. For some people, email may be a good way to start the dialogue or keep a written record of what was agreed upon. Stay away from voice mail and text messaging, though, as these forms of communication are best left for quickly confirming dates and giving directions.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening means actually hearing what another person is saying and responding to it, not simply waiting for a turn to complain or rebut. People who practice active listening tend to have fewer communication problems in relationships. Try restating or rephrasing what another person has said in order to make sure it is fully understood, and ask clarifying questions as needed. Active listening involves using open body language (no crossed arms or scowling faces) and validating what the other person is saying. Accusing and blaming are not allowed; try replacing phrases like, You always with I feel statements.

Keep to Some Healthy Ground Rules

Good communicators maintain a set of ground rules by which their discussions take place. In addition to the active listening tips above, make sure all conversations are honest and open. Keep to the current topic and refrain from bringing up past grievances, especially those that dont relate to the discussion at hand. Try to keep an open mind about the other persons opinions and feelings, and avoid being overly critical or worse, openly contemptuous. Eye rolling has no place in good communication. Some therapists refer to these ground rules as fair fighting.

Skilled communicators also are able to admit when they are wrong and are willing to sometimes give in to another person or find a compromise. It is helpful to decide whether it is more important to maintain the relationship or to be right. Of course, there are also some situations where a power imbalance may occur, such as in the workplace, and ceding control to a boss may be the wisest move. If an agreement cannot be reached between two equal parties, such as those in a marriage, consider consulting a therapist or mediator to have an objective third party facilitate the discussion.

Be sure to come to some sort of agreement before ending a contentious conversation, even if it is simply an agreement to meet again to continue the discussion. Once a successful accord has been reached, check in again with the other party at a future time to see how things are going. This is particularly vital in romantic relationships, where unvoiced issues can fester for years, causing resentment and dysfunction. With a bit of practice, many couples find their communication much improved, allowing them to focus on the more positive aspects of the relationship that brought them together in the first place.

The Top Causes Of Divorce

It is estimated that about 50 per cent of all marriages end in divorce, and most of these are first time marriages. Anyone who is married or has been married will verify that it isnt always easy to make it work, and it can take dedication, hard work and compromise on the part of both partners. Many people who get married, especially younger people, have high or unrealistic expectations of what married life will be like, and this can cause them to become depressed or disillusioned.

In the U.S., divorce rates have been rising since the beginning of the 20th century, and especially since the 1970s, when no-fault divorce was instituted. Some experts contend that the easing of divorce laws has helped make marriage stronger by rooting it more deeply in personal choice, although it does little to give people the skills needed to work out the inevitable difficulties that arise in marriage.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/divorce

There are several causes of divorce, and knowing what these are and working to make sure they dont cause problems, can increase your chances of a long and happy marriage. Some marriages fail because the participants married at too young an age, and being emotionally ready to get married is essential. Some couples simply drift apart, for no obvious or specific reason, especially if they had little or nothing in common to begin with. A marriage in which one partner is a lot older than the other one also takes a lot of work to make it successful.

However, money issues are one of the single biggest causes of divorce, and a couple that struggles financially will often find it difficult to stay together. Financial problems can be caused by one partner spending too much, by having too much debt, or by one partner losing their job or suddenly having less income coming in. A husband or wife suddenly losing their job can put a huge strain on any marriage and if you can survive that, you can survive almost anything else.

Of course, infidelity can also be a big cause of divorce, especially if the physical side of the marriage is not all it should be. Most men and women choose to have an affair because they are bored or dissatisfied, or sometimes it is a need for affection and to have someone listen to them and appreciate them. Some people also feel that the institution of marriage does not need to be taken as seriously as others tend to take it, and tell themselves it is acceptable to see other people.

Other causes of divorce include differences on how to raise children, and even disagreements on whether to have children or not. Conflicts with other family members can put a strain on a marriage, as can abuse, which can be emotional as well as physical. If a husband or wife has a drug or alcohol problem, it can often lead to a divorce, especially if he or she is unwilling to seek the appropriate help.

One of the best ways to avoid divorce and maintain a strong marriage is by communicating, whether the problem is money, family, or anything else. Often, talking a problem through is beneficial and can lead to the correct action being taken to fix the problem. Both partners need to listen to the other one, and take any complaints or criticisms seriously, and of course, compromise also plays a big part in any successful marriage.

5 things every college student should know about dating

College dating is something between high school crush and real world relationships. But college is also an important stage of your life. You should know the following things about college dating.

Never give up an opportunity for your partner

If you are in love and you think that the person is perfect for you, never give up an opportunity you get in college. It can be an internship, a part-time job at a good company, study abroad or other career-related opportunities. You will later regret skipping these opportunities.

Don’t loose friends for your partner

You shouldn’t spend all your time with the person you are dating. You should keep some time for your friends as well. You should remember that these friends will support you when you will have a bad time with your partner.

Experience the real world before getting engaged

You shouldn’t make big commitments like engagement when you are in college. You should first see the world and know different people, before committing to a serious relationship.

It’s hard to date someone who is not in the same year

Before dating someone who is junior or senior to you in college, you should consider how you will manage your relationship when one of you get out of college before the other. You will have a hard time scheduling your weekends or finding time to hang out with one another.

Be nice to your ex partner

In real world, when you break up with someone, you may never see the person again in your life. But in college, it’s a different story. You will see your ex partner often on campus. You shouldn’t ignore the person; instead approach nicely. If you are nervous, you can take a friend to walk with you if you know that there is a chance of seeing your ex.

You should learn these lessons about college before you make a terrible mistake. College is no joke; it will shape your life. You don’t want to regret missing something important about your career for someone you loved in college and now you are no more with the person.

Top 5 tips for dating in college

College life is a thrilling journey. It’s the time when you walk out of your parent’s home and experience freedom. People get excited when they enter their college life. Dating in college is different. Here are five great tips for dating in college.

Start going to parties

If you don’t go to parties when you are in college, you will be missing out something great! It is a great place to hook up with friends and meet new people. It’s very easy to get a girl’s phone number when you are at a party.

Travel

If you are outgoing, then you must travel whenever you get a chance. This will give you the opportunity to meet foreign people. You will have a new experience, and you might even find true love.

Meet girls at the beach

You can take your dog to the beach. You will see women approaching you and asking about the dog. Your dog can be an excuse to talk to girls on the beach.

Take a class

You can take extra classes like acting class, photography class, etc. where you will meet lots of girls. These classes are very refreshing; you will learn a new skill and be able to approach girls easily as well.

Online dating sites

There are lots of online dating sites where you can find dates. All you need to do is write down your profile and upload your picture. You might find the right match through online dating sites.

In college, nobody cares about what you do. So, you should enjoy this freedom. But you should remember that you shouldn’t date too many girls just to have fun. You shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

4 reasons why college dating looks so critical

College dating scene has changed. College students are continuously getting on and off relationships, having all the freedom to have sex with anyone, and moreover taking relationships very casually. Here are the reasons why college dating looks so critical.

Career-minded women

Women are increasingly becoming career-minded. The hookup culture is prominent. Women don’t like to enter relationships that may hamper their career. They enjoy casual sex but are afraid to get into any commitment.

Women’s behavior are becoming masculine

Women are becoming carefree; they are getting career-focused and very conscious about their independence. Guys should care less about the feminine aspect of women if they have to stay in a relationship. Those guys who look for the feminine sides of women find it difficult to date.

Digital dating

College people depend greatly on texts and social sites for dating. This has led to the resistance to communicating thoughts and emotions properly. They depend on digital media than having a face to face conversation.

The sexual identities

College students today are worried and confused about their sexuality. Some people are straight, whereas others are gay or bisexual. Nowadays, people are very open about their sexuality. This makes relationships critical. It’s not enough that a guy likes a girl. They need to find out about each other’s sexuality first before starting a relationship.

In many colleges, there is counseling available to help college students deal with dating and relationships. It’s always good to seek help when you have any trouble in the relationship.